covid-19

We got this.
Godspeed.

on a scrap of paper

sea of garbage
it's here
i swim

everyone is
looking
o u t
no one is
looking
i n

it's bad in here-
trash up to my eyes
but
i'd rather stay
tucked away
then venture outside

untitled

hanging
on the corner

cars pass by

my dress is cut
so low
this is my street, my show
look at me

cars pass by

i lay on my back
but i’m on my knees
eager to show
eager to please

cars pass by

i open my legs
wide
i'm exposed
down to my ankles
panty
hose

cars pass by

i stand up
pull down my dress
go home
and
fuck myself

look at me

Is it worth to even put these thoughts into words? I think so much but then when I consider actually putting it into words I get exhausted. What is the point, really? No one is going to read this, it's not really therapeutic to me. Damn Early Weezer is SO good. So, so, so good. I can't understand how people enjoy going out into crowded, loud places? How is this enjoyable? I don't get it. I felt like my ears were bleeding, I shoved tissue paper in both of them. I am alone in my apartment but felt more alone in the crowded brewery. Looking at so many faces, seeing so many expression, interactions between others. Nausea. Right Pessoa? Right Sartre? It's true, it's the perfect word to describe that feeling. I'm sure there are people out there that have felt that as well. It's Saturday night and we all have to have plans and be cool. Hey, look what I'm doing. Hey, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me.

an odd feeling

i only feel alone
when
i'm talking with others.

a thought

why does sadness feel like forever
and
happiness like a memory?

it's snowing

internal tears

no one can hear

but

my soul is crying

party of one

the hermit crab prefers a tiny shell,
aware of its needs
and so with me.
i know my needs
and i know the world.

i wish for nothing

quiet is my only wish

people in the world
do not build houses
to suit their real needs

i love my lonely dwelling,
this one-room hut.
sometimes i go to the capital
but when i return
i pity those who seek
the dross of the world.

kama-no-chomei

hojoki (visions of a torn world)

i've been down on bended knee

Well, you may throw your rock and hide your hand
Workin' in the dark against your fellow man
But as sure as God made black and white
What's done in the dark will be brought to the light

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler
The gambler
The back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down

i'm on the dark side of the road

Well it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
Ifin' you don't know by now
An' it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It'll never do some how
When your rooster crows at the break a dawn
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on
Don't think twice, it's all right

So long honey babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
Goodbye is too good a word, babe
So I just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right

amen.

ain't nobody got time for that.

never doubt yourself.
trust your instincts, always.

mmmmhmmm

Bobbing side to side.
Forgetting things for awhile.
Grateful for the rest.

parents just don't understand

Music loud in ears
Parents glad headphones are in
Every one wins this one.

this is fun.

Unease setting in
Scared to know the truth, don't tell.
Blissful ignorance.

zen

Cold in my apartment
Warm, hiding under covers
Turn up heat, Landlord.